Agenda Spirituality

Why do some of us (me especially) tend to view our spiritual life as a sort of "Godly checklist"? It's like somehow if I read a chapter of the Bible and pray 10 minutes, then I must be growing and on my way to sainthood. This tendency makes me, at times, run through prayer and Bible reading so I can run off to the 'important' things of the day - the things I control. I was reminded of this in reading the story of Balaam and his donkey in the Bible. Balaam had an agenda - he was a prophet for hire of sorts and was journeying to a new job. On the way, the donkey gave him problems because, for some reason, the donkey could see a terrifying angel of death right on the path ready to kill Balaam. After 3 attempts by the donkey to get off the road, Balaam loses his mind - he's already beat the dumb donkey a lot, and, in the middle of his rage, the donkey starts talking...whoa. What really gets me is that Balaam doesn't react to the donkey's talking - he's so narrowly focused on his anger and his derailed agenda that he misses a miracle. Not only that, but, as the donkey points out, he missed seeing God right in front of him. Boy, this story was meant for people like me. Lord, help me not miss a miracle or miss seeing You because of my lame agendas....Amen.